What The Hell Am I Doing Here

Nights like these make me think
What the hell am I really doing
To myself, to my broken heart
I should probably go fix it first
But I just don’t know where to start
Yet I do things I shouldn’t be
Things I should be ashamed of
Yet I do it over and over again
Just so I can numb the pain
That has clearly been a part of me
Since the day I have lost my way
What I wouldn’t do to find you again
But what if I did find you
Things won’t ever be the same
So what am I still doing here

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Should I…

Do you sometimes think of me
Or only when you need something
Someone to satisfy your needs
I often wish it wasn’t me
That you picked out of the crowd
After I shamelessly offered myself
To you, to us
For lust
But never for love
I think I wanted to cross that line with you
For me, myself
For love
And never for lust
But I was never good enough
You wanted more
Different women
Different days
Every fucking day
Should I stay
Or should I go…