Old Habits Die Hard (Revisited)

“I’ll be dying soon”
You told me with your tired eyes
“…And you’re gonna be just fine”
You assured me with your trembling voice
And I just don’t know what to do
If I knew, you wouldn’t be here
Chained to this hospital bed
It’s sad that no one comes to see you
Not even me, I admit
At least not anymore
Cause you’ve been sick for so long
It’s becoming a habit now
And we all know old habits die hard
But they die, eventually
We’ve been waiting and waiting
I can only imagine
What you’re going through
But I don’t want to
I guess I’m selfish that way
Thinking as long as it’s not me
But one day
Tables might turn
It might be me chained to this bed
Day in, day out
Year in, year out
It’s going to become a habit
And you know what they say
About old habits dying hard
They die… eventually
Just like you did
Yesterday

 

Do You Still Love Me

We can dance the night away too easily
When the world around us is falling apart
Brick by brick, heart by heart
Is it you or is it just me
Like it’s always been?

You kiss me, I kiss you back
But love is rarely that black and white
But what do I know, right
There are questions I’m afraid to ask
Do you still love me?

 

As We Used To Be

A few summers ago
We were both so young
So naive but oh so in love
They kept telling us
This kind of puppy love
Won’t last long
But we kept telling them off
Not knowing they were right
How we wished they were wrong
Now a few years later
It’s weird seeing you again
How we know so much about each other
Yet I don’t know you anymore
But that’s okay
Cause in the past you’ll stay
As perfect as we used to be

 

Sweet Child of Mine

Sweet child of mine
I’ve run out of lullabies
So I guess it’s time to say goodbye

It’s now or never
But never seems like forever
And I can’t seem to choose what’s better

Life and death
Here in this bed
Nothing’s been said

As a mother I chose what’s best
Cause death doesn’t seem so bad
Why can’t he understand that

Cause forever would only last one more month
I don’t understand why he’d let him suffer that way
Our poor little son

 

Marry Me (part 1)

You ask me if there is a God
Someone to take you out of this shit hole
But who am I to say if He’s a fraud
Cause no one really knows

You lie awake each and every night
Praying to anyone who’s willing to hear you
You’re starting to wonder if you should just die
For death may be the only way out for you

Then you meet this nice young fellow
Who’s willing to love you for a lifetime
While deep down inside you just want to go
Go right back to the father of your child

‘Marry me’, he asks unromantically
It’s his first time, you can tell
From the outside looking in, it’s rather sweet
But we all know, it’ll be a marriage from hell

 

You said I was …

You said I was beautiful
The most prettiest in the room
The most amazing girl you have ever been with
Beautiful words do sound appealing
To a beautful young mind like mine
You took me to dinner
You bought me flowers
You showered me with attention
Everything a girl could ever want
Everything a girl truly deserves 
I bet you say that to everyone
I thought
But then again
I might be the special one
But then I see the way
That special way
You treat all the others
I realized… 
You were never going to love me
Like I was willing to love you

 

What About Me?

You must be married by now
With a child on the way
You forgot about me
You forgot about us
You forgot about our love
Nevermind the hurt
Nevermind the lies
Nevermind the other guy
We’ve made mistakes
But somewhere along the way
We both took the blame
We never looked back
I never wanted to end it that way
You met someone else
And I can only blame myself
But what about me?

 

Break up

You told me I was beautiful
Then you kissed me on my lips
It was like you were preparing me
For tough days to come so suddenly
Like you were telling me secretly
I can easily live without you
That I can move on without all this
That I’m worth the attention of other men
That I will one day find someone else
Who’s worth it all
When all I really want is you

 

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Twinkle twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are,
Like a diamond in the sky
Brightening up the lonely night
I wish I could be there with you
But you don’t have a clue, do you

Tears, they fall from my eyes
Somehow it feels different this time
I’m right here, but you’re not
You had to go, but I did not
It just wasn’t my time or place
But you had to be stubborn this way

Twinkle twinkle little star,
How I wonder where you are
Now that the bright lit sun is gone
Now that there is nothing to wish upon
What have you really become
After all that I have done

Now 12 months later we celebrate
Not your departure, but your voyage
And I’m thankful no one knows
Why you really had to go
So soon, so sudden, so mysteriously
Our secret is safe with me

Twinkle twinkle little star
Travel light, travel far
Just let things be
Between you and me

 

I Belong To You

You put your coat on
Expected me to leave with you
Hand in hand like an army
But how can I disappoint my family
I can’t live without them
I don’t wanna choose
My heart belongs to you
But the rest belongs to them
Not much we can do
So I undecidedly made a choice
And went against my inner voice
I could hardly move
Let alone breathe
Nor look at you
One day perhaps you’ll understand
Why I had to let go your loving hands
Still my heart you get to hold
Just not me